The Whirlpool of Life!🌻✨

Creating a fulfilling life that brings me joy and molding it exactly how I want was the most excruciating journey I’ve been through.

You’d think that authentically changing your life would come smoothly and just feel right, right? That’s not the case.

Change is uncomfortable. You step out of what you’ve always known into a life of the unknown. After all, if change were easy, wouldn’t everyone do it? Correct ?

One existential crisis is enough for you to ignite a sense of urgency to give your life a much-needed direction.

Luckily, I’ve experienced my share of the most horrific emotional hells ( yet ) at age 20.

Many people mistake certain feelings as them heading in the wrong direction. Or, worse, once someone experiences those negative feelings, it paralyzes them in fear. They imagine a new life but watch it fade away from the sidelines.

For a while, that was me. I had no idea what I was doing but knew I couldn’t live life the way I had been anymore. Every step I tried to take forward felt wrong. It was like life was fighting against me rather than for me.

“I don’t want that to be you.”- i said to myself.

Instead, I want you to recognize and embrace all the feelings from heading towards the life you want. Will this make them any easier to handle? No. But you won’t be blindsided, which hopefully means you won’t be paralyzed.

A lot of things are comfortable. Sweatpants and baggy shirts. A soft bed. Waking up in your childhood home. Hanging out with friends you’ve known your whole life. Doing your daily routine. Staying at your job. Not speaking up. Never pursuing any change.

See what I did there?

Some comfort is good, but not all of it. You’ll never obtain that life you want without a bit (or sometimes a lot) of discomfort simply because you’re doing things you’ve never done before.

It wasn’t easy for me to start posting articles online. I had no clue how to write an article for a magazine when Digifynd India asked me to write them an essay.

But I worked through that discomfort.

As much as it doesn’t feel good, remember that discomfort is the ultimate sign of growth. It’s you accepting how things aren’t working anymore. It’s you taking the unclear steps in the right direction.

Back in 2019, life as I knew it crumbled. My technical recruiting job didn’t send a joining letter, i ended the relationship i was in, and I was pretty damn depressed. I felt lost. I had no clue what my next move should be.

And while it took many hard, sad days of going back and forth on what to do with my life, I was heading in the right direction. The might sound contradictory, but hear me out:

Many people never wonder what their next step will be because they never put themselves in a situation where they have to. They never choose a life that’s different from what they know. They don’t question if they’re happy.

If you’re confused about what move to make next, you’ve admitted to yourself that you want things to be different. You’ve decided you can’t live with complacency; whatever you do next, at the very least, will be different.

Once you decide to pursue a more fulfilling life, the possibilities will become endless. And while that might be exciting at first, it can feel terrifying, too. With endless options, how do you know you’re picking the right one?

While that might feel terrifying, know that it’s better to realize the possibilities you have, than to think you have none. It’s a horrible feeling to think that you’re a victim to whatever life decides is in store for you.

I don’t mean once you start working towards the life you want, you’ll wonder why others aren’t doing the same.

I’m sure you already know at least one person who complains about their life but never does anything about it. Maybe it's that they date the same kind of people who mistreat them or how much they dread their job.

No matter how much you change in life, some people will cling to the old you. 

But when it gets annoying is when people make you feel bad about the ways you’ve changed. The fact is, other people know when they’re unhappy with their lives. Seeing you chase your dreams will only make them jealous and lash out as a result.

Plus, it doesn’t feel good to surround yourself with people who aren’t supportive. People who are happy for you for pursuing a different life will start to be who you’re more drawn to spend your time with.

When you decide your old life isn’t cutting it anymore, you’ll begin distancing yourself from it. I’m not saying you’ll cut off everyone and everything in your old life, but you’ll value your alone time more.

People who don’t align with the life you want to live will feel draining. Ways you used to spend your time won’t be as pleasurable as they used to be. You’ll become happier spending time by yourself because it means you have control over the headspace you’re finding you thrive in.

If you’re someone who believes alone time is a bad thing and you should always be socializing, this might be a hard transition for you. But know that you’re not a bad person for valuing your time and energy.

Not to mention, learning to love to be alone is a beautiful thing most people will never be able to do.

Just like I’m sure you did, I had plenty of ideas about how I thought my life would look. The kicker is, though, that life never would’ve made me as happy as I am now.

I grappled with letting go of the life I thought I’d live. That process wasn’t easy; I felt like a failure at first. It was like letting go of something that felt like a part of me but wasn’t.

Chances are, you’re experiencing the same. But the thing about bringing in big changes is that you have to let go of old beliefs. There’s nothing wrong with admitting the life you thought you wanted isn’t what you want anymore.

If I’d known that all these feelings were good signs, I could’ve spared myself a lot of anxiety-filled days. I wouldn’t have questioned so many of my decisions.

As much as it doesn’t seem like it, some negative feelings are a sign you’re heading down the right path. Rather than quitting and giving up, use them as an indicator that you’re changing your life.

You have only one life, and — if you live it right — one is enough.

What story are you writing? How do you want people to remember your name?

Sending strength to everyone outta there, 

yours with love,

Nandi :’)