That's how you be happy kiddo!

It’s a known but unspoken truth amongst my friends that I much prefer being alone than hanging out with them.

Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy their company and we have oodles of laughs, but nothing hits quite as right as the sweet relief or that warm fuzzy feeling that washes over me when meetups are cancelled last minute.

I wasn’t always like this, but the transition happened of late and some thought there was something wrong with me, whilst one friend saw it as a personal affront he weren’t invited on my solo trips.

But, once I got comfortable with the idea that I was in control of certain parts of my life, the more things I started to do by myself; the theatre, gigs, day-cation, treats :p

I have zero regrets since I started down this journey, there have been a range of benefits, primarily my own happiness, but here are a few other factors I’ve discovered about the joys.

If you can perform certain tasks you enjoy alone, this leaves room for you to choose a mutually liked activity with friends. Thus erasing the constant tradeoff of “I came with you to this so you have to come with me to that.”

Why get trapped in a cycle of doing something you don’t enjoy just so that someone will do the same for you?

A lot of us are made up of how we are perceived by other people, or what we do. We are made up of so much more than what people tell us.

Being alone gives you the time to discover who you are — what you like, don’t like. It arms you with a self-assuredness that you can use in the real world. You are more than the quiet one, and it may offend you to be called so when after sometimes getting to know yourself you realise that what you really are expressive and giving you an added confident spring in your step.

Trust me, I find it incredibly freeing to just go on a walk, read a book, go outdoors and not have to worry about anybody but myself. This might sound selfish, but it’s good to love yourself.

I can clearly recall I went to Wave alone for the first time with a box of popcorn, Crimes of Grindelwald it was. I enjoyed as I wanted, not compromised. Not being embarrassingly shushed when I reacted to the dark magic on screen, knowing that I could sit and be myself and that was more than okay — it felt right.

This was my first taste of the freedom of being alone, and it’s the one I’ve been chasing ever since.

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I read a book lately about a woman who didn’t like to be disturbed on a Monday. I sadly don’t recall which book, but this character trait always stuck with me. It was a day where her friends, parents and even the concierge at her building knew not to disturb her. More than that, it was something they respected.

Choosing to be alone doesn’t mean you are rejecting those around you. It means you are making a choice to focus on yourself, your own interests and adventures and that is okay. That should be respected.

Some worry, but being alone is different from experiencing loneliness. The former is to be enjoyed and sought for personal growth and can cause a rush of happiness. Again different from social isolation which is cutting yourself off from society, which could lead to loneliness.

Actively seeking alone time allows you to discover who you are and what you like to do when there is nobody around to tell you otherwise. It breathes confidence into you as you become secure and love the person you are.

Your friends might get jealous that you would rather hang out with yourself :P

And yet the menace of the years finds, and shall find, me unafraid.

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Sending y’all hugs and love, 

Enjoy a lil time w/ yourself, you gonna love it :)))

From knowingly yours,

Nandi :))